Database o’ Wisdom ‘n Eloquence: Is there a pithy quote or song lyric I can use to express this thought instead of suffering the crippling anxiety of authorship?
Hypocrisy Balancer: Is the number of times I’ve made a self-deprecating comment about owning an iPhone equal to the number of times I’ve used it to check my email?
Bank Account Monitor With Silent Alarm: Screen flashes red when amount dips to $99.99 and below, with optional purple alarm for $9.99 and below (second feature is yours for only $.99)
Locator of public-ish restrooms. Sort by: proximity, cleanishness, length of line/# of stalls, amount of money necessary to use facilities guilt-free, average rate of success sneaking in
Habit Iteration Calculator: How many times did I wash my hands/check whether the door is locked/think obscene thoughts about the opposite sex – and, more importantly, is that number a multiple of five?