An Unlikely Return

Y: search facebook

  **** *********

 X: there are three of her

  is she the hot one

11:19 PM Y: yeah

  i mean, she's the brunette

  the only one you can see

  we we're engaged

  and were on and off for years

  and she ti\ried to get back with me a while ago, but i wasn't interested

11:20 PM but i am, now

 X: I'd probably fall for her, too

11:21 PM Y: i'm so saddened

  that's the problem

 X: Is she taken now or something

 Y: she has this effect on me

 X: And that's why you want her, when she's unavailable?

 Y: she'd leave whoever she was with for me

  she isn't 'unavailable'

  she just is nuts

  seriously

 X: Ah, personality issues

11:22 PM Y: and wants me now because she thinks i'm going to be successful

  and becasue i treat her so good and am reliable

11:23 PM X: How nuts is she

 Y: well, she's bi-polar

  and a liar

11:24 PM X: well at least things wouldn't be boring

  plus think how attractive she is

  she might even be a ten

11:25 PM Y: she is a ten

11:26 PM and i'm a what?

  she was attracted to me

  and i've dated models

 X: tens only like tens

  you must be a ten, too

 Y: but i also have dated girls with personalities nd intelligence

  and i love that

  because i learn with them

  but with ****, she learned from me

  and it wasn't blanaced

11:27 PM X: well if shes bipolar, thats like TWO personalities

 Y: well i am emile hirsch

 X: So maybe she could make up for her lack of IQ

  With a double dose of personality

 Y: no, she's a loser

  no education

  but she wants to be a winner

  her dad hates me

 X: I don't know, she's wearing a suit in her facebook photo

 Y: he is jealous of me

 X: Gotta be a winner to do that

  Oh rly

 Y: yeah, he actually is

11:28 PM it's a long story, that i won't bore you with

 X: Which qualities does he covet

 Y: but he is

  he is a moron

  and fat

  and always comments on how girls go for guys like their dad

 X: Why did you go and meet the girl's parents anyway

  Bad move

  So beta

 Y: but **** slept with me and became my girlfriend three days after we met

11:29 PM we spent the christmas break together

 X: I know the type

 Y: that was less than a month after we met

 X: So clingy

  Get a life

 Y: well, she invited me cause i left my girlfriend of 4-years for her

  and she left this guy for her

 X: O no, I meant her

 Y: we both did on the day we met each other

 X: OBVI

11:30 PM Y: like we both knew

 X: Love at first sight eh

 Y: i don't know

 X: OR SO U THOUGHT

 Y: i used to think so

  but she made it hard

  i got her pregnant

  and that messed a lot of stuff up

 X: Damn son

 Y: she blamed me for it

  though she never wanted to use condoms until after the pregnancy

  then i got into [good school]

11:31 PM X: Her uterus shouldn't have been so receptive

 Y: and was going to go

  and couldn't, becasue i loved her

 X: I hear no one is allowed to love there

 Y: but when i stayed, she clearly lost respect for me

  so then, a year later, i got into [other good school]

 X: Also: so beta

 Y: and came up here, and she was here, and things struck up again

11:32 PM well, when we met up again, all my [other good school] friends said she was trash

  and that i had so many better options

  i was seeing a girl at the time

  a pretty, sweet girl

  but not exciting

  and that was lacking

  and that caused a sense of boredom

11:33 PM you see, i liked the girl i was seeing, but primarily because she was so innocent and hard to get

  once i did, things changed

 X: a challenge

 Y: and her roommates overheard me talking to **** and us telling each other "i love you"

  then that ended my relationship with the other girl, ******

11:34 PM but now **** is back, and i can't stop thinking of her

 X: I hate the whole hunter - pursued thing

 Y: well we all do

 X: I hate having to play games

 Y: but it's a fact for some of us

 X: But then when I'm easy

  I know guys get bored

11:35 PM Y: i never got bored of ****

 X: At least, that's what I've learned from When Harry Met Sally

 Y: when we were happy, it was insanely happy

  when we fought, she called the cops

  three times

 also, the reason i approached her was simply to see her better - i had no glasses on

  she started hitting on me, and read my fiction that had recently been published - four times she told me - and was so laudatory that i felt charmed

11:37 PM X: Did you blow a whistle at her

 Y: then everything splintered

  i also have this penchant for wanting to save people

  primarily because i feel fucked up

  but not when i'm with her

11:39 PM it's a relationship that's hell to be in, but worse to be out of

  now with all these positive things going on in my life, she wants back in

 X: do you have other options

 Y: she says, and it's true, that she wants to marry me because she knows i inspire her

11:40 PM she asked to move in with me

  i said yes

  but then i never picked her up

  i was going to, heading over and everything

  but i turned around

 X: i hope she wasn't waiting in the rain with her suitcases